Not yet satisfied with our pastorate… (Part 1)

Over the past four years, God has healed and strengthened this church through the convictions and decisions that Bob writes about in these articles. Read and be edified—but perhaps more importantly, read and learn!

Recently I found myself wondering, «Where have Stan and Maria gone?» (names have been changed). I hadn’t seen them at church in weeks. The next day someone told me that they had left the church because of something that was said in a Bible study. They didn’t tell me, or anyone else that I know of. They just disappeared without a word.

This news is hard to take. For twenty years I had nurtured this couple spiritually, loved them, served them. I had married members of their family, helped save the marriage of one of their children, prayed for them constantly. And then—they were gone.

It didn’t really come out of nowhere. It seemed that way to me, but that hurtful phrase had been simmering inside them for some time. Eventually, they started looking for another church. I didn’t contact them until seven weeks after they disappeared. (Seven weeks?! It’s embarrassing to admit.) Yes, Stan and Maria should have said something. But it’s my responsibility as a pastor to know the state of my flock. And if I had known about it sooner…

What to do now? This situation has only strengthened my determination to implement an idea that has long been in my heart: to better care for the pastoral care of our church. I am not sure that we are currently truly fulfilling Paul's call to the Ephesian pastors:

«Take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of [the Lord and] God» (Acts 20:28).

What are we doing now?

So what are we practicing now?

Every month, our church pastors pray for each member by name until we reach everyone. Every week, we pray for members whose names are published on my blog. Every week, church staff gathers prayer requests from the community. Every week, we discuss pressing pastoral challenges. Every year, the pastors review the membership list to keep our membership current.

If you are caught in enslaving sin, have experienced a great loss, or have been diagnosed with a terminal illness, we will care for your soul. If you are seeking fellowship, spiritual conversation, prayer partnership, and encouragement, we have the ministries to meet your needs. If you are interested in theology, worldviews, hermeneutics, homiletics, or simply Bible study, we have those opportunities as well.

But what about those who are formally members but are not known to many or who do not seek our help themselves? Can we, as pastors, be calm if a person attends church services only about half the time—and that’s it? Are we really «watching over him»? Is this sufficient pastoral oversight of his life? And if not, how can we do it properly?

What are we planning to do?

I have been wrestling with these questions for a long time. I reread Richard Baxter's remarkable work, The Reformed Pastor, and came to the conclusion that his practice of visiting every family annually was appropriate for a different era. Baxter had no public schools, no band rehearsals, no track and field, no football, no swimming, no golf, no country homes up north, no weddings, no endless birthdays, right? His congregation was a simple town of 800 families.

However, the basic need for shepherds to know their flock remains unchanged. This is one of the basic principles of pastoral ministry.

Our goal now? I want every member of our church, Cornerstone Baptist Church, to feel regular pastoral care from our pastors.

Here's what I plan to implement:

1. With the pastors, review the essence of the Church and our responsibility to care for each member. It is always difficult for us to keep the main focus. Personally, I have to fight the tendency to put the task before the people. If the church is growing and the budget is being met, it is easy to assume that all is well. But is that really the case if one or two members are lost along the way? I am reminded again and again that Jesus was not satisfied with the 99 when one sheep was lost (Matt. 18:12–14).
2. Establish a clear vision for ministry that embraces caring for every member of the flock. Church membership is not simply about recruiting volunteers to support ministries. It is primarily a mutual commitment to help one another reach heaven. I do not want our church to be satisfied with well-stocked nurseries or neat buildings. We should strive to present every member complete in Christ (Col. 1:28). Many of our members already have some pastoral care in small groups. But our goal is not just for those in small groups. We strive to care for every member.
3. Create a pastoral care plan that is relationship-based, not problem-based. There are three important things to consider when developing such a plan: a) Make sure you have accurate information. You can’t care for your flock if you don’t know where it is. b) Assign each member to a specific pastor. c) Encourage pastors to develop a personal spiritual care plan for each member. Pastors cannot automatically assume that everyone wants personal care. Everyone needs to be given time to build trust with their pastor so that their conversations can grow deeper over time.

   The plan will begin with the pastor asking his members to share their prayer needs. Over time, he will be able to learn about specific challenges in their family, life, or church and suggest ministries that can help them. Over time, pastors will be able to help members set spiritual goals for the year, support them, counsel them, and pray for them.

Ask the right questions

Achieving these goals requires pastors to be able to ask the right, thoughtful questions. Here are some examples of such questions:

• What contributes most to your spiritual growth?
• What would you like to grow in as a believer over the next year? Are there any spiritual goals that I could help you achieve?
• What are your biggest fears or struggles?
• In what areas of church life are you involved? How does the church influence your walk before God? What is helpful in this, and what, on the contrary, hinders it?
• Is there someone you are currently sharing the Gospel with on a regular basis? Tell us about your involvement in Bible reading, prayer, and financial participation in the life of the church. Would you like to grow in any of these areas?
• How is your family doing? What joys or worries do you have about it?
• How can we, as pastors, pray for you?

Of course, pastors will not share all the details of personal conversations with others, but important summaries and urgent needs will filter down so that the entire team can better pray and minister the Word.

I called Stan and Maria yesterday. I wanted them to know that I love them, that I miss them, and that I sincerely want to hear their feedback and help them solve their problem. I don't know if they'll come back. I really hope so.

In the meantime, I want every member of our church to know that they have someone who knows them, loves them, prays for them, and guides them spiritually.

I'll give an update in six months. In the meantime, what do you think? Are you part of a church where something like this is already happening and working well? Maybe you have your own ideas?