The role of prayer in the discipleship relationship between sisters

«"I will pray for you!"»

We often say this familiar phrase to our friends, but how often do we actually pray for them? As I reflect on my relationships in the church, I strive to be a sister in Christ who is committed to prayer. If we define discipleship as «the conscious doing of spiritual good for someone so that that person becomes more Christlike,» then prayer certainly plays an important role in our discipleship relationships. So as we influence and train women, it would be wise to consider how to incorporate prayer into our daily interactions.

Commit yourself to prayer in your discipleship relationships.

What sets your Christian relationships apart from other friendships? I have many non-Christian friends who «think of me» and «send good vibes,» but the most valuable in my life are the women I know are committed to praying for me. I strive to be that kind of friend in my discipleship relationships at church.

In our church membership agreement, each member of my church commits to «walking together in Christian love, showing tender concern and watchfulness for one another… praying for one another.» This means that we have a responsibility before the Lord to pray for one another, especially for those we teach.

Christian fellowship is not just «spending time with other Christians,» and discipleship is not just talking and listening. When we teach others, we have the privilege of helping them follow Jesus, and two critical tools for doing so are the Word of God and prayer. Without this powerful pair, I am little more than a listening ear, and any spiritual impact I have will be minimal. In fact, I have often left meetings wondering if what I said was helpful. But I have never doubted it when our meetings have included prayer and scripture study. My words and counsel may not be enough at times, but drawing near to God’s throne for one another will always be successful.

Prayer according to the Bible

Praying with the Word of God is a powerful tool in our struggle for holiness. When our hearts tend to wander and we follow our emotions, it is a great blessing to have a brother or sister in Christ who is willing to pray with us based on biblical teaching. There have been many times when I have not known exactly how to pray for someone, but, fortunately, Scripture is enough. Sometimes the best way to start is to simply shout:

«We do not know what to do with them, but our eyes are on You!» (2 Chron. 20:12).

Useful reminders

As we pray for our sisters in Christ, here are some helpful reminders:

1. Pray about God's attributes. Remind each other often who God is; praise Him for being sovereign, unchanging, holy, all-knowing, etc.
2. Pray the gospel promises. Remember the priceless gift of salvation through Christ. We have an imperishable inheritance reserved for us in heaven, and God remembers our sins no more. He has given us everything we need for life and godliness.
3. Pray, reminding yourself of who God has called you to be in Christ. We tend to forget that we are children, chosen, redeemed, and forgiven.
4. Pray through specific passages of Scripture for this person. Open this Book and let God’s living and active Word speak! The Epistles of the Apostles are a great place to pray for one another.

In teaching others, I may call someone to turn from sin, but more sorrow comes when we pray together, reading and meditating on Colossians 3. I may say words of comfort to someone struggling with anxiety, but praying 1 Peter 5:6-7 brings more comfort. When a friend doubts whether God’s plan for her life is good, Romans 8 speaks invaluable words.

When we pray prayers of praise and thanksgiving, when we plead for resolution and mercy, filling our words with Scripture confirms our hearts in truth and moves us to deeper faith in Christ.

Prayer for unity and love

It’s no wonder we grow in Christian love for those we pray for. Even in the most united communities, we can face comparison and envy. It’s easy to walk into a church, look around at other women, and believe the lies we tell ourselves: Their lives must be free of hardship and struggle, their marriages and families must be perfect, they probably won’t understand me.

But when we are in the process of discipleship, when we teach and are taught by others, we remind ourselves that we are not the only ones who struggle with anxiety and fear, who are impatient with children, or who doubt God’s goodness.

When we invest ourselves in the lives of our church members and commit to praying for them, we grow in our unity. Prayer breaks down walls of uncertainty and fear and allows us to join forces with other Christians to follow Jesus together.

A few years ago, a woman I had just met shared a situation where she was struggling to trust God’s plan. Her willingness to share openly helped me pray for her, and praying for her made me love her even though I didn’t really know her!

It is true that we pray for those we love, but it is also true that we grow in love for those we pray for.

Praying when it's inconvenient

Prayer doesn't have to be long or perfectly planned. It can be done in the hustle and bustle, with interruptions from children running around. I'll never forget meeting a sister who taught me a few years ago, when I didn't have children yet and she had three. I was just driving with her on business, and we got to talking about life. When we pulled into her yard, she said, "Let's pray here in the car before we get into this chaos.".

As we started praying, the ball bounced and hit her window. She rolled down the window and told the guy who was throwing the ball, «I’m praying and I’ll be done in a minute.» Then she rolled up the window again and we finished praying.

Her example stuck with me. I often mistakenly believe that discipleship should only happen with open Bibles and lots of quiet time for prayer. But that is not the reality for most people.

Here are some practical tips for incorporating prayer into your relationships with students:

• Pray while you walk.
• Pray in the car after lunch or while drinking coffee.
• Pray on the phone as they drive or go home.
• Don't forget to ask how you can pray for them during the week.
• Be open enough to ask them to pray for you.
• Write your friend a message to let her know you are praying for her.

Just pray!

Too often I end meetings with my sisters in Christ wishing I had prayed with them or for them. Praying is not always easy, not always convenient, and not always practical. However, it is always beneficial, and we will always be blessed by doing so.

So, when we meet as women—sharing our experiences of marriage, parenting, and spiritual struggles—let us promise to pray for one another. May we leave our meetings with the assurance that we have done something intentional and spiritually beneficial for one another.