The power and privilege of being children of God

Five tips for improving your personal prayer life

Now is the time to reevaluate your personal prayer life and consider what small changes you can make in the coming days. Often, the best way to grow and succeed is not through a complete overhaul, but by identifying one or two small changes that will pay off over time.

Maybe you have no real personal prayer life at all (which is probably just as common among nominal Christians as it ever was), and you really need to start over. Maybe you feel the words of Francis Chan: «My greatest worry for this generation is your inability to focus, especially in prayer.» Maybe that applies to you, and you’re ready for a change.

Whether you just need a little help or are just starting out, I would like to offer some practical advice on personal prayer. But let’s start with why personal prayer, or «secret prayer,» is so important.

Prayer «in a secret place»

Prayer «in secret» gets its name from Jesus« famous Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5–7. The context is Jesus» instruction not to “be careful not to practice your righteousness before men, to be seen by them; otherwise you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 6:1).

«And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets to be seen by men. Truly, I tell you, they have their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly» (Matthew 6:5–6).

«"The sure test of spiritual integrity, according to Jesus, is your personal prayer life.".

Just as public prayer had its rewards in first-century Jewish society, it also has its rewards in our 21st-century Christian communities—whether in church, in a small group, or simply around the table with family and friends. It is easy to slip into prayer becoming a way to impress others, whether by its length, tone, subject matter, or the words used, which are chosen to make a certain impression on the listeners.

It’s a difficult balance because we must pray in public—in church, at home, and elsewhere—and public prayer must take into account that others are listening; it must have others in mind. But there is always the danger of pushing God aside and focusing on looking impressive in the eyes of others.

Authenticity test

But praying «in secret» is a test of the authenticity of our public prayer. As Tim Keller comments on Matt. 6:5–6:

«The sure test of spiritual integrity, Jesus said, is your personal prayer life. Many people pray only when cultural or social expectations demand it or when they are anxious about adverse circumstances. However, those who have a genuine relationship with God as their Father will have an inward desire to pray and will therefore pray even when external circumstances do not prompt them to do so. They continue to pray even during periods of spiritual dryness, when there is no outward benefit» (Keller, Prayer, p. 23).

Personal prayer is an important test of whether we are genuine.

Medicine for imperfections

But personal prayer is not only a test of our sincerity; it is also a permanent remedy for our imperfections and our lack of desire to seek God. As John Piper says, «Prayer is not only a measure of our hearts, showing us what we really desire; it is also an indispensable remedy for our hearts when we do not desire God as we should» (Piper, When I Do Not Desire God, p. 153).

Personal prayer reveals who we truly are spiritually and is essential for healing those places where we are broken, needy, deprived, and rebellious.

Context for relationships

Also, as Keller notes, prayer is essential to «a true relationship with God as Father.» This is the heart of prayer—not to receive things from God, but to receive God Himself. Prayer is God’s response to His word to us, and it enables us to enjoy God as an end in itself, not merely a means to an end. In prayer we enjoy the privilege of communion with God and discover that we are not just servants but friends (John 15:15). We are not just hearers of His word, but His own children who have His heart (Rom. 8:15–16; Gal. 4:6–7). He wants to hear us. Such is the power and privilege of prayer.

Here we see why Jesus practiced so well what he preached about prayer and finding a «secret place.» He had no shortcomings to compensate for, and no doubts about His sincerity, but He longed fervently for communion with His Father. And so again and again He prayed alone. «And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up into the mountain by Himself to pray. And when the evening was come, He was there alone» (Matt. 14:23; also Mark 6:46). Not just once, but as a habitual practice, «And He withdrew Himself into solitary places and prayed» (Luke 5:16). «And rising up very early in the morning, a great while before day, He went out and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed» (Mark 1:35).

«"The heart of prayer is not receiving things from God, but receiving God himself.".

Before choosing the twelve disciples, «It came to pass in those days that he went out into the mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God» (Luke 6:12). Even in Gethsemane, three times «he went away and prayed» (Matt. 26:36, 42, 44; also Mark 14:32–42). From the beginning to the end of His ministry, Jesus made the practice of personal prayer an integral part of His relationship with the Father.

Therefore, it is difficult to overestimate the importance of personal prayer. In many ways, it is a measure of who we are spiritually. As J. I. Packer said, «How we pray is one of the most important questions we will ever face.».

Five tips for personal prayer

That personal prayer is important, even indispensable, for the Christian is obvious. But how we practice personal prayer varies enormously across our different experiences, habits, and at different times in our lives. As you evaluate (or begin) your own rhythms and practices, here are five tips for enriching your personal prayer.

1. Create your own secret place. Find a place you usually go to for personal prayer, or if you can’t find a ready-made place, create one. It could be as simple as a clean table or a place to kneel. Many people find that a place by their bed is more effective than praying while lying down. Perhaps you can find a real closet or a niche under the stairs with enough space to sit or kneel and enough light to read and even write. Having your own comfortable place to pray will make it easier for you to pray regularly.
2. Start with the Bible. Since prayer is not a conversation we initiate but a response to God’s initiative and word to us, many of us have learned, like George Muller, to begin with Scripture. Muller says that for ten years he began each day by trying to immediately pray earnestly and persistently, only to eventually discover how much richer and more focused his prayers became as they came out in response to God’s word. From that time on, Muller began with a brief prayer for God’s help as he read, then moved on to the Bible, opening his ears to God in His word, meditating on Scripture, and then moving on to a daily practice of personal prayer.
3. Praise, Confess, Give Thanks, Ask. After reading and meditating on the Bible and before opening up to «free prayer»—expressing whatever is on our hearts—it can be helpful to have a ready-made form. William Law advised that morning prayers «have something fixed and something free.» The same is true with personal prayer. Martin Luther recommended praying the Lord’s Prayer form with new words each day. One tried-and-true form is the ATT: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Petition. First praise God for the truth revealed in your reading and meditating on Scripture, then confess your sins, shortcomings, and weaknesses, give thanks for His grace and mercy, and finally ask, petition, for the needs of yourself, your family, your church, and more.
4. Express your desires — and develop them.
   

   «"It is impossible to find anything more worthy of our attention and investment than the privilege and power of personal prayer.".

   First, something fixed; now something loose. This is «free prayer,» where we pray about our concerns, our anxieties, that we have that day and that season of life. In personal prayer we are most sincere with God and with ourselves. Express your heart to the Father. He already knows it, and He wants to hear it from you. It is an immeasurable privilege. But prayer to God is not only a place to express our heart, but also to develop our desires. There is power in prayer. Prayer changes our hearts like nothing else. Perhaps especially when we follow the prayers of the Bible in the Psalms and from the apostles (as in Eph. 1:17–21; 3:16–19; Phil. 1:9–11; Col. 1:9–12) and more as guidelines for forming and expressing our desires to God.

5. Keep it fresh. Change your practice for a new year or a new month or a new season of life. Regularly or just occasionally record prayers with focus and attention (a valuable aspect of journaling), or elevate your feelings in prayer through fasting, or take a break from the chaos of life with a special vacation for silence and solitude.

The privilege and power of personal prayer cannot be overstated.