His suffering sparked a movement: David Brainerd (1718-1747)

His life was short—29 years, 5 months, and 19 days. He was a Christian for only eight years and a missionary for only four. Yet few lives have had such a profound and all-encompassing impact as that of David Brainerd.

Why did his life leave such a mark? Why did John Wesley say, «Let every preacher carefully read the biography of David Brainerd»? Why did William Carey consider Jonathan Edwards« »Life of David Brainerd« to be precious and holy? Why did Henry Martin, a missionary to India and Persia, write as a Cambridge student in 1802, »I aspire to be like him!”?

What made his life so meaningful? Or perhaps we should ask more personally: Why did it affect me? How did it help me not to stop at what I had achieved in ministry, but to strive for holiness, God’s power, and fruitfulness in my own life?

The answer is that Brainerd’s life is a vivid testimony that God can use weak, sick, discouraged, downtrodden, and lonely saints who struggle and cry out to Him day and night to do great things for His glory. In the suffering of such people great fruit is born. To illustrate this, let us consider first Brainerd’s struggle, then how he overcame these difficulties, and finally how God used him in spite of all his weaknesses.

Brainerd's Struggle

Three hundred years ago, on April 20, 1718, Jonathan Brainerd was born in Haddam, Connecticut. He converted to Christianity at the age of 21. While a junior at Yale University, where he was preparing for the ministry, a professor overheard the zealous Brainerd say that the professor had «no more grace than a chair.» The Great Awakening had already caused tensions between the awakened students and the seemingly less spiritual faculty and staff. As a result, Brainerd, despite his outstanding achievements, was expelled from the university without trial or investigation.

Despite numerous attempts to resume his studies over the next few years, Yale never accepted him back. However, God had a different plan for Brainerd. Instead of a quiet life in a pastorate or lecture hall, and then death and little impact on the kingdom of Christ, God chose to send him into the wilderness, where he suffered for Him and had an incalculable impact on the history of missions.

Broken body

Brainerd was constantly battling illness. In 1740 he had to leave college for several weeks because of a cough that brought blood. In May 1744 he wrote, «I rode for several hours in the rain through the wilderness, though I was so exhausted that I could scarcely expect anything but blood» (Life of David Brainerd, 247). From time to time he wrote, «In the afternoon my pain became exceedingly severe, and I was obliged to lie down in bed. Sometimes I was almost deprived of the use of my mind by the great pain» (253).

In May 1747, doctors at Jonathan Edwards’s house informed Brainerd that he was suffering from an incurable disease and had little time to live (447). Edwards comments that a week before his death, Brainerd told him, «No one can imagine the pain I felt in my breast. I was anxious not to dishonor God by my impatience during the severe agony, which was such that the thought of enduring another minute was almost unbearable.» On the night before his death, he told those around him, «To die is a very different thing than people imagine» (475–476).

Desperate mind

Brainerd constantly struggled with periodic depressions that repeatedly brought him his worst disappointments. Amazingly, he not only survived, but continued to move forward.

He often described his depression as a kind of death. There are at least 22 instances in his diary where he wished for death as a release from suffering. For example, on Sunday, February 3, 1745, he wrote: "My soul remembered the wormwood and gall (I might say hell) of last Friday; and I greatly feared lest I should again drink that cup of anxiety, which was inconceivably worse than death, and made me long for the grave more than for hidden treasures" (285).

Only in retrospect did he see himself as «one to whom Jesus Christ could show his mercy.» But in the darkest hours, he sometimes felt neither hope nor love nor fear. This is one of the most terrible aspects of depression, for natural restraints begin to disappear. Unlike William Cooper, however, Brainerd was free from suicidal tendencies. His death wishes were limited by the biblical truth, «The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away» (Job 1:21). Although he repeatedly wished for death, it was only so that God would take him away. (Life of David Brainerd, 172, 183, 187, 215, 249).

It is striking how often Brainerd continued his ministry despite these waves of discouragement. This certainly caught the attention of many missionaries who knew well the pain he had to endure.

Lonely soul

Brainerd describes an occasion when one night in April 1743 he was forced to listen to the obscene conversation of two strangers, and he exclaimed, «Oh, how I wish some dear Christian knew my sorrow!» (204). A month later he added, «Most of the conversation I hear is either Scotch or Indian. I have no Christian to whom I can open my heart’s sorrows, or with whom I can discuss heavenly things, or join in common prayer» (207). This loneliness sometimes caused him to despair and postpone his work. On Tuesday, May 8, 1744, he wrote, «My heart sometimes became numb with thoughts of my ministry, and I walked alone into the wilderness, not knowing whither» (248).

Brainerd remained solitary in his ministry for the rest of his life. During the last nineteen weeks of his life, Jerusha Edwards, the 17-year-old daughter of Jonathan Edwards, cared for him, and many suggest that a deep (perhaps romantic) feeling developed between them. But in moments of trial, he remained alone, pouring out his soul only to God. And God sustained him.

Brainerd's reaction

We could go on and on about the many challenges Brainerd faced—his great external challenges, his gloomy outlook on the world around him, his problems with the Indians, his temptations to leave the ministry. But let us focus on how he responded to these challenges.

What is most impressive is that Brainerd never gave up. One of the main reasons his life has such a profound impact on people is his steadfastness. Despite all the difficulties, he never gave up on his faith and calling. Brainerd was consumed by a burning desire to finish his journey, to honor his Lord, to advance the kingdom of God, and to move steadily toward personal holiness. It is this unwavering commitment to the cause of Christ that gives his difficult life its glorious hue.

Among the many means by which Brainerd sought to attain holiness and be useful in the ministry, prayer and fasting occupied a special place. He often devoted entire days to prayer. For example, on Wednesday, June 30, 1742, he wrote, «I spent nearly the whole day in continual prayer» (172). Sometimes he prayed for six hours a day: «Blessed be God, I had great liberty five or six times a day to pray and praise him, and felt great anxiety for the salvation of these precious souls, and the extension of the Redeemer’s Kingdom among them» (280).

In addition to prayer, Brainerd sought to attain holiness through fasting. In his diary, he repeatedly mentioned days spent in fasting. His fast on his 25th birthday is particularly telling:

«Wednesday, April 20. I dedicated this day to fasting and prayer, to bow my soul before God in requests for the granting of God’s grace, and especially that all my spiritual sufferings and internal troubles might be sanctified for my soul. My soul ached with thoughts of my barrenness and deadness, of the fact that I had lived so little for the glory of the eternal God. I spent the day in the forest alone, and there I poured out my sorrow to God. Oh, if the Lord would give me the opportunity to live for His glory in the future!» (205).

The Fruit of Brainerd's Suffering

Because of David Brainerd’s incredible devotion, Jonathan Edwards wrote a biography, «The Life of David Brainerd,» which has been reprinted more times than any of his other works. It is through this book that Brainerd’s influence on the Church has become immeasurable. In addition to the famous missionaries who have testified that they were sustained and inspired by Brainerd’s life story, countless other faithful ministers have found encouragement and strength in his example to continue their ministry!

It is inspiring to think that a small pebble thrown into the sea of history can create waves of grace that reach distant shores even hundreds of years and thousands of miles away. Robert Glover reflects on this when he writes:

«It was Brainerd’s holy life that influenced Henry Martin, who became a missionary, and was the chief inspiration for William Carey. Carey in turn inspired Adoniram Judson. Thus we can trace a spiritual lineage—Hus, Wycliffe, Franke, Zinzendorf, Wesley, Whitefield, Brainerd, Edwards, Carey, Judson, and others—all part of the true apostolic succession of grace, power, and worldwide ministry» (The Progress of World-wide Missions, 56).

But the most lasting and significant result of Brainerd's ministry is what every pastor's ministry is—the salvation of souls. There are several Indians, perhaps hundreds, who now and forever owe their eternal lives to the direct love and service of David Brainerd.

Who can comprehend the true value of one soul saved from the kingdom of darkness, weeping and gnashing of teeth, and translated into the Kingdom of God's beloved Son? Whether we live 29 years or 99, is not any hardship worth it to save just one person from eternal hellish torment to eternal joy in God's glory?

Forward and up

I am grateful to God for the ministry of David Brainerd in my life. His passion for prayer, his spiritual delight in fasting, his sweetness of God’s Word, his unwavering endurance in trials, his constant focus on God’s glory, his total dependence on grace, his complete rest in the righteousness of Christ, his desire to save sinners, his holiness in suffering, his focus on eternal values—all these are impressive. He ended his life without cursing the illness that cut short his days at the age of 29. Despite all his weaknesses, shortcomings, and sins, I love David Brainerd.

Oh, that God would grant us the constant grace to spread the passion for His sovereignty in all things, as Brainerd did, to the joy of all nations! Life is too precious to be wasted on trifles. Lord, give us the unwavering determination to pray and live with the same perseverance as David Brainerd: «Oh, that I had never tarried in my heavenly journey!» (186).