{"id":16511,"date":"2025-10-08T19:58:47","date_gmt":"2025-10-08T19:58:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/podorozh.org\/?p=16511"},"modified":"2026-01-06T13:47:19","modified_gmt":"2026-01-06T11:47:19","slug":"what-does-it-mean-to-be-gentle-weak-shepherd-39-s-thoughts-for-the-lowly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/podorozh.org\/en\/what-does-it-mean-to-be-gentle-weak-shepherd-39-s-thoughts-for-the-lowly\/","title":{"rendered":"Does gentleness mean weakness? Pastoral reflections on tenderness"},"content":{"rendered":"

What\u2019s the first word that comes to mind when you hear the word \u00abshepherd\u00bb? I suspect it\u2019s not \u00abgentle.\u00bb Despite the Iron Giant image, our heroes are rarely associated with gentleness. They achieve great things through strength, skill, and stubborn will. Their strength lies in their audacity, not in their humility.<\/p>\n

I always thought I was meek. Reading the lists of virtues in the New Testament, meekness never really caught my attention. In my youth, I regularly prayed against lust. I fought against pride. I tried to avoid sloth. These deadly sins made up my own three-headed monster that I had to overcome. But somewhere along the way, while I was leading a frontal attack on my Cerberus, another sin crept out of my heart and struck me from behind. It has many names: rudeness, harshness, domineering. But one thing it definitely lacks is meekness.<\/p>\n

My sin has deceived me.<\/h2>\n

How did this insidious sin finally make itself known? A dear brother did something truly courageous: He told me that I could be harsh and even intimidating to others. So harsh that he wasn\u2019t sure he could continue to serve with me on the pastoral team of our church. His words shocked me.<\/p>\n

We decided to dig deeper. The four of us sat down to talk and pray. He expressed his concerns humbly, admitting his own weaknesses. But as we talked, I began to see more clearly how my conversational style was belittling others and making them feel unneeded. I began to realize that I had often given too little guidance while expecting too much. And while my struggles with lust, sloth, and pride were generally under control, my anger was running wild.<\/p>\n

I asked myself, "How could I have overlooked this sin for so long? I prayed regularly, read the Bible daily, preached every week. I was ordained to the ministry of exposing the sin of the entire congregation\u2014so how could I have so carelessly overlooked my own sin?"<\/p>\n

The short answer is that I was deceived by my own heart. The 19th-century theologian Archibald Alexander wrote, \u00abIn every sin the mind is deceived. Right thoughts and motives are momentarily forgotten or suppressed.\u00bb And that\u2019s true. I convinced myself that directness (a much nicer word than \u00absharpness\u00bb) was simply my leadership style.<\/p>\n

As the weeks passed, the Lord reminded me again that sanctification is a process. Even for pastors. And yet, in my brother\u2019s direct yet loving words, the power of Hebrews 3:13 came alive: \u00abBut exhort yourselves daily, as long as it is called \u00abToday,\u00bb so that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.\u00bb His encouragement was God\u2019s way of getting me to examine my heart again.<\/p>\n

The Scriptures have renewed me.<\/h2>\n

Equally important, my brother\u2019s rebuke made me look at God\u2019s Word with new eyes. Previously, when I thought of Moses, the first thing that came to mind was the courageous leader who led God\u2019s people out of Egypt. And that was true. But when I came face to face with my own harshness and harshness, I saw in Moses a man who had been personally and profoundly transformed by the glory of God. That is why the Scriptures describe him this way: \u00abNow the man Moses was very meek, more than all the men who were upon the face of the earth\u00bb (Num. 12:3).<\/p>\n

Previously, when I had thought about the fruit of the Spirit, my attention had focused on joy, faithfulness, and self-control. But now the text began to speak to me, as if inviting me to focus my heart on this particular virtue (Gal. 5:22\u201323).<\/p>\n

How many times have I read 1 Timothy, pondering the requirements for pastoral ministry? I saw marital fidelity, sobriety, and dignified conduct as key traits. But now I can\u2019t get past those words that seem to shine like neon lights: \u00abnot a brawler, but gentle, not quarrelsome\u00bb (1 Tim. 3:3).<\/p>\n

Doesn't our church need a gentle shepherd?<\/h2>\n

Leading a church\u2014even as a team with other pastors\u2014is not easy. A good pastor must be prepared for a barrage of criticism. In addition, pastors are often expected to be confident, decisive, and \u00abstrong in character.\u00bb And sometimes, because of the clouding of sin, we pastors fail to see how meekness can help achieve this goal. We are convinced that America does not need a meek president, the army does not need a meek general, and the company does not need a weak CEO. And so\u2014although we do not directly admit it\u2014we decide that the church does not need a meek pastor either.<\/p>\n

But the church is not a state, an army, or a company. If God had wanted it to be run by politicians, generals, or CEOs, He could easily have arranged that. Instead, in His wisdom, He entrusted the leadership of the church to pastors whose distinguishing characteristic is the awareness of their own weakness: \u00abWe have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us\u00bb (2 Cor. 4:7). If Jesus saved the world by \u00abhumbling himself, taking the form of a servant\u00bb (Phil. 2:7), then every pastor is undoubtedly called to follow His example.<\/p>\n

As a husband, I especially appreciate Dave Harvey\u2019s words about gentleness in marriage:<\/p>\n

\u00abMeekness has nothing to do with weakness or passivity. Meekness is strength tempered by love\u2026 In marriage, being meek means not being weak or vulnerable, but being so devoted to your wife or husband that you are willing to sacrifice yourself for their good.\u00bb.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

These words can be fully applied to pastoral ministry.<\/p>\n

Meek does not mean weak. The pastor who believes he must \u00abdrive\u00bb his church to greatness by the power of his own gifts underestimates the power of the gospel. The pastor who believes he must be the most insightful, the most decisive, the most powerful misses one of the most fundamental spiritual truths: God delights in using the meekest people because they are the most obviously dependent on Him.<\/p>\n

This does not mean that a good shepherd should be silent or indecisive. Not at all! But it does mean that a shepherd will be \u00abswift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath\u00bb (Jas. 1:19).<\/p>\n

I am not yet as gentle as I should be. But I am aware of my temptation to be harsh and harsh\u2014and that understanding makes me a better husband, father, and shepherd. If I am to be remembered, I would like to be remembered as a man who exemplified gentleness.<\/p>\n

How to grow in meekness<\/h2>\n

None of us are as gentle or affectionate as we should be. But what if you feel like you have a real problem with this?<\/p>\n

    \n
  • Find someone who will tell you the truth with love and ask them, \u00abAm I gentle?\u00bb What has helped me personally is just realizing that this is an area that needs my special attention. Knowing the problem is the beginning of the journey.<\/li>\n
  • Meditate on key scriptures (Prov. 15:4; Matt. 5:5; Gal. 5:23; Eph. 4:1\u20133; Col. 3:12; 1 Tim. 6:11; Jas. 1:21). But even more important, meditate on the character of Christ. We are called to share His meekness (2 Cor. 10:1; Matt. 11:29). It is difficult to spend time with these verses and not come away with a renewed desire to become more meek.<\/li>\n
  • Pay attention to how others perceive you. If your words, tone, and facial expressions seem harsh or cold, think about how you communicate with people. Sometimes a lack of gentleness is simply an inability to express your true love.<\/li>\n
  • Pray that God will make you more meek. This is certainly a prayer that God will be happy to hear. He loves His sheep more than you do, and for their sakes He will be happy to cultivate meekness in the heart of a shepherd who sincerely seeks to display Christlike meekness.<\/li>\n<\/ul>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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